Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Stacey v. Hygiene: Contact Lenses

Ever since I was in the third grade I have kind of had to wear glasses.  My right eye can apparently see past my prescription, so says my new eye doctor.  I finally decided yesterday that maybe I should stop straining so much and commit to some eye care.  I was well on my way to a lazy eye. 

I had a great appointment and decided on contact lenses.  I had to prove that I could successfully put them in, take them out, then put them back in.  I passed with semi-flying colors.  I was able to do it and felt confident in the upcoming week-long trial of said contacts.  I leave feeling empowered. 

Today I woke up with glasses and decided I was going to put in my contacts before I left for a lunch date with Mother-in-Law.  The time finally came for me to put them in and I felt some weird panic about putting them in inside-out.  I'm not sure where the fear came from, or why I was so freaked out about it since they were just contacts, but I fiddled with the right contact a few times before I tried to put it in. 

I got the right one it.  It felt weird.  I took it out.  Which way was inside-out?  Hm.  I flip it and stick it back in.  It still felt weird.   So I just left it since it felt weird either way and I was on my way out the door.  I already had the left one in because I didn't have much struggle with it and it felt so great I didn't even notice it in there!

I had a great lunch date with Mother-in-Law.  Had a few beers, stopped by Jo-Ann's, fun times. 

I get home and decide my contacts need to come out.  I go to the bathroom, reminiscing about how simple it was to take them out the day before.  I poke myself in the eye.  That hurt like hell.  It stung a lot.  I couldn't figure out why, so I try the other eye, same result.  This was strange.  I keep doing the same thing.  Why was this so difficult today?  I figured that I was just jumpy and I wasn't getting good contact between my finger and the lens.  I squirt some solution on my finger, try again.  My mascara is running down my face and after an hour of poking myself in the eyes, I give up.  I wait for Husband to come home.

Husband comes home.  I tell him my dilemma:  I can't get my contacts out.  I told him they were either glued to my eyeballs or they fell out.  We both agreed that I would have totally noticed if they fell out.  I never remember anything falling out of my eyes.  So he tries.  He sticks his finger in my eye and I just blinked too much for that to ever have worked.  I ask if he can see the contacts.  He grabs a flashlight and takes a gander like he's some kind of doctor.  He says he thinks he sees them in there.  So we go back to poking my eyes.

I give up for an hour because my eyeballs just hurt so bad from the poking and prodding I needed to give them a rest.  Bedtime rolls around and I am determined to get these damn things out of my eyes.  I stick a finger in, drag it across my eyeball, and officially give up.  I figure if they aren't coming out after that they can just rot in there.  I am going to see the eye doctor next week for my follow-up anyways.  Eff this.

Tomorrow I have a deposition.  Awesome.  It looks like I've been getting baked for the entire week. 

Stacey: 0 v. Hygiene: 1

ETA:  They fell out.   I found one on the bathroom heater just a few days later.  Don't ask me how it got there.

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